


Stranded

by sea_side



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: (these two are nuts btw), Amelie/Higgs at the beginning, F/M, Fragile/Higgs later, Mentions Suicide, Sad Romance, but it won't be fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sea_side/pseuds/sea_side
Summary: Turning into a god had been painful, but turning back into a human being felt much worse.What hurt Higgs the most, was that in hindsight, he never had any control about what happened to him. He grew up as someone’s pawn and he would die as one in the end.And now there was Fragile, saying she would give him a choice. But he knew it was a lie.After all, there was only one thing left to do for him, one last try to take fate into his own hands.But you should be careful what you wish for, right?
Relationships: Higgs Monaghan/Amelie Strand, Higgs Monaghan/Fragile
Comments: 42
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

Higgs wasn’t broken yet when he fell into the tar, defeated, mud splashing into his face. He didn’t care much about his face anyway. He relaxed, let himself float, even enjoyed it a little to calm down after so many fights that had exhausted the immense powers he still felt tingling in his fingertips. It was alright when Sam Porter even pulled him out so carefully. So much for aphenphosmphobia. It felt like he had all the time in the world to wait and feel his powers come back. His dear nemesis collapsed next to him. It looked like they were only having a nice day on the beach, with the waves gently splashing against their mudded boots and the peaceful quiet around them. Although Sam didn’t have so much time to waste. Higgs playfully teased him, almost pleading him to go on. He didn’t really mean to speed things up though. He didn’t lose yet. Sam didn’t move either and it was ok. But then Fragile appeared.

Higgs stared at her, startled. Fragile could never visit other beaches, but Sam and her, they shared a connection. She could reach him. He should’ve known. His anger disturbed this peaceful scene, but not too much. It was still alright.

„Fragile?“, the sigh escaped his lips before he could stop them.  
She stood upright, features proud and cold. She eyed him for a moment before she said: „Guess I left a lasting impression.“ Her gaze was a little unnerving, but he indeed remembered her very well. Running through timefall, stumbling and falling into the puddles while the rain crumbled her skin, sacrificing herself to people who still hated her anyway. She was broken, desperate and soo helpless. She didn’t know that her efforts were no use, that time was running out for everyone anyway. Poor little Fragile. And now she wanted revenge. 

„This time, you’re the one who’s going to break,“ she said in her soft, quiet voice. She was full of determination. Her daddy would be proud. Should’ve chosen another name for her though. Higgs smiled at her cold features.

„Is that right?“, he enjoyed every word. „I think you’ll find our bond is made of stronger stuff.“ His gaze fell on Amelie, his sweet angel of death. She was unconscious, hanging in Sam Porter’s arms, face pale, white like a porcelain doll. But not broken. As if she wanted to prove it, she suddenly moved, took off the mask they shared and let out a quiet sigh. Well, he had hoped she would keep the mask as a sign of their bond, but she was always a little peculiar, she was an EE after all, a bringer of death, his lord and savior and more important, his source of power. He reached out for her, like he had done it so many times before. They shared a strong connection, they acted as one.

When she didn’t answer him he was surprised. She must’ve been more tired than he had thought. But it looked like she was about to wake up. He tried again, more forceful this time, his own exhausted muscles tensed and starved for strength. They remained unheard. Amelie was still hanging in Sam’s arms. How embarrassing.

He heard Fragile’s amused voice break the silence, but he hardly listened to her. He clung to Amelie, violently pulled at her and used his last bits of energy as he desperately tried to reach her. But it felt like he tried to pull power out of a corpse. „Give me strength, dammit!“, he yelled at the motionless figure - and then she gave him this look. At first it was unreadable, it became unsettling and then something deep inside him snapped. It made his ears ring and turned his insides to ice.  
He started trembling, his useless arm fell right back into the mud and his mind was haunted by the gaze of his angel. When Amelie closed her eyes again, she had changed everything forever. 

The cold didn’t leave Higgs when he tried to intimidate Fragile with mere words. He could barely hear what he was saying while he struggled to hold himself up as he stuttered into Fragiles blank face. „I’m Higgs! I’m the Particle of God that permeates all existence!“, he recited his self made title like a prayer, as if he could use it to summon all his powers once again. They have felt so natural, as if he had been born with them. They were never meant to leave him. But his body remained cold. He could only stay down on the ground with an avenging angel above him. 

As an answer to his efforts, Fragile took off one of her black leather gloves and viewed the aged skin underneath. Higgs was still frozen when her hands suddenly cupped his face. It was a surprisingly gentle stroke that made him wish he could lean back and relax again, just like he had done a few moments before. That wish felt like a spark that painfully burned it’s way through his frozen insides. When Fragile let go off him, she left a chill on his skin. He still stared at her when she pulled him closer to smack him back down with her fist. He heard his bones crack when he hit the black sand. Then the world faded. 

The calm he had gained this ungentle way didn’t last long. Soon, Higgs was hauled back up by Sam, who then tied his wrists up. Still puzzled, Higgs looked around for Amelie, but she was nowhere to find. He couldn’t feel her anymore The cold was gone, but it had left his body numb, useless as a whole. Sam ripped the Quipu from his neck and that was all it took to make Higgs feel naked. His mind was spinning, he had so many questions. Why did he have to lose everything? What had he done to deserve this? To be cut loose from everything he had accomplished? 

Fragile and Sam now stood together, closed the deal, as it seemed. A gun was placed in Fragile’s hands and she smiled. Higgs began to press his wrists against the handcuffs that did nothing but clink a little. He knew that there was no escape from this beach without Amelie. All he could do was fighting down the panic that grew inside him to leave himself some dignity. 

Sam now walked off with the Quipu and Fragile stepped closer to Higgs, not aiming yet. She knelt  
down and put her hands on him a second time. Higgs couldn’t stare right into her face anymore, so he tilted his head to the side and looked at the muddy ground. He heard the connection to his BB break with a hiss. He grimaced. They really stripped him down. Even though his BB had died the moment Amelie had abandoned him the loss left a bitter taste. Fragile carefully turned BB around in her hands. Her blank features changed into disgust and horror when she saw what was inside. She allowed him last moment of triumph. 

Higgs smirked at her when she looked back at him. His smirk faded though when she put down the pod and placed her fingers back at the gun. When her eyes fell on him again he couldn’t restore the confident facade, as much as he wanted. He gulped instead, to his embarrassment. Death was inevitable now, but what if she decided to play a little with her prey beforehand? While Higgs was dwelling in his thoughts, Fragile’s eyes fell on a golden shimmer in the mud and she let the gun sink again. She walked over to the shimmering spot and seconds later, she held Higgs’ mask in her hands.

„Wanna try?“, Higgs offered with a voice more hoarse than he had wanted it to be. Of course, he didn’t expect Fragile to be so stupid. She turned back to him and promised: „I’ll be back.“  
„Great…“ he mumbled as she made her way to who knew where. He believed he could hear Amelie’s voice now in the distance. She was still there but their connection was gone. As soon as Fragile was out of sight he began pulling at his cuffs again and begged to whatever was left in this world to give him his powers back. He was so tired. Struggling was only running him down even more and he didn’t want to black out again, waste all the time he had left. Panting, he looked around the beach and when the shock sank in, when his abandoned Ka started to think again, he saw that he was all alone. Finished and yes, broken.

Amelie…the last stranding…his whole purpose of existence, it was all gone. And now, without Amelie’s power pulsing in his body, everything looked so different.


	2. Chapter 2

It sounded cliché, but to Higgs, Amelie was the one he had always been looking for. And he always had the feeling that it wasn’t because of her DOOMs. Fragile was also a DOOMs sufferer, at an insanely high level, but she never appreciated them as much as Higgs did. Just like him, she had experienced the same dreams over and over as a child. Higgs had found some of them horrible, and some others rather fascinating. However, Fragile called them all nightmares, she was glad that they had faded away after some time and when Higgs asked her if she had ever tried to get them back she only looked at him in bewilderment. And when Higgs went on, that these dreams could’ve been even visions, or something they could use to their advantage, she just said she never got anything useful out of them - and that people who suffered from these nightmares for too long used to show unhealthy alterations in their personality. A nice term to say they went nuts. 

Higgs had backed away from her since then, hid as much as he could from her while he continued to recall the visions. It worked. First, there were only glimpses and shadows of what had haunted his entire childhood, but later, he could restore very clear images, dreams that startled him awake at night and taught him very clearly why most people called them nightmares. He saw death. Death in so many shapes and colors he couldn’t have imagined. He kept this knowledge buried deep inside him for years, until one fateful night.

He was just a porter back then, one of those sorry individuals that tried to rebuild the world that was haunted forever by the dead. They never had peace. One knot built, one knot lost. It was an endless struggle, BTs kept taking their toll on humanity while porters tried to keep everyone alive with their supplies. In hindsight, it was pathetic. Higgs alone didn’t have enough power to defeat this madness. Fragile’s powers had been promising at first, but their enthusiasm ran out quickly.

When Higgs met Amelie, she became his first real source of hope. A being with powers way beyond his imagination. She couldn’t only sense BTs, she could expel them, pacify areas that had been crowded with BTs for decades and impossible to pass through ever since the first voidout. All it took was one wave with her hand. She was amazing.   
It was one of those nights they celebrated the creation of a new free world. Higgs was filled with hope, pride and probably too many drinks when he told Amelie about his visions. Half begging for understanding and half showing off to someone who was way beyond his level, he told her that he saw death approaching.

She too, just like Fragile before, looked at him as if she noticed him for the first time. „I don’t see it“- she answered and turned away. And while Higgs was busy putting all his shattered pieces together she whispered: „I’m causing it.“ She then stood there in silence, as if she waited for his judgement, and Higgs, completely overwhelmed, unsure if he got her right or if he was only drunk, stuttered like a fool.   
„Y…y..you sure?“   
That made her dash around, with waving blonde hair and her blue eyes widen open. He believed her. Before he could stutter more nonsense she disappeared right before his eyes, leaving him frustrated and unsure if she would ever come back again. 

She didn’t show up for a long time after this incident. Only her newly created paths remained clear, a sign that she somehow still controlled everything to their advantage. But Higgs couldn’t help but despise himself for his sudden outbreak of honesty. Even Fragile was suspicious if the had something to do with Amelie’s disappearance. These days were pure torture. He could still remember the utter disappointment and despair when he had finally traced back all five extinctions, with evidence of ancient death stranding events, and still no clue what Amelie had to do with it and where she was. 

The second time Higgs met her she showed him her beach. He had seen Fragile’s before, but Amelie’s was nothing like it. Death was pervasive there, the black sand was covered with cadavers of all kinds of sea creatures. Amelie stood in the distance, watching the waves roll. Higgs rushed to her, eager to reconnect.  
„Where have you been?“, he sighted out of breath.  
„Here,“ she answered, still eyeing the endless ocean. „I’m always here. This is my home.“  
Higgs had heard people call the beach a lot of things. A limbo, a purgatory, a portal to the afterlife, but not a home. But he liked that thought.   
„Weird, huh?“, she asked, turning to face him with a sheepish smile.  
„No..no, it’s…it’s beautiful…“, he said at the sight of all the corpses around them.  
„It could be yours too…“, she offered.  
Higgs didn’t think twice.


	3. Chapter 3

He fell on his knees right there in the sand and vowed he would always be with her, no matter what she was doing to the world. He believed she couldn't be wrong, she was humanity's last hope after all. He offered himself to be the herald of the new free world she would create. Inwardly, he begged that she would never disappear again. When he looked up to her, she beamed at him and put a hand on his head. 

„Close your eyes“, she whispered and Higgs obeyed. He wasn’t prepared at all for the burning arrow of power that bursted right into his heart and pulsed through his entire body from there. His senses were on the edge of collapsing when he screamed his pain out. When it finally sank in, he felt that Amelie was gently stroking his hair. He sobbed, face all wet from chiralium matters. Of course it was chiralium. She began to whisper comforting words to him and slowly wiped away his tears. 

When she told him to stand up, he needed to hold her hand to do so. He was a shaking mess, but he felt better than he ever had in his entire life. Amelie was everything to him. And she was there just for him. He would be at her side, rule the world to her will and never be alone again. With pride he accepted her gift and didn’t question it when a small glass tank was placed in his arms.  
„It’s a BB“, she explained, „a child born on the beach. It’s your connection to here. To me. Carry it with you wherever you go and I’ll always be with you.“ She could’ve made him no greater gift.

It was the moment they built a bridge between them that changed his life forever. Before, he had been clinging to what he had called his sixth sense. A weak little tingle that he had to constantly stimulate to keep it alive. He had needed to stay close to BTs to remind his sense of what they felt like. At the beginning, it had saved his life. After an entire childhood in a bunker it helped him to move on. His curiosity won him over and he learned to get along with this world, the BTs, the corpses. But he still had to avoid all the dangers to stay alive.

When he stepped back into the world of the living from Amelie’s beach, he felt reborn. His little sixth sense had evolved, it became stronger every day. First, Higgs could sense BTs from a much farther distance than before and later he could recognize their shapes when he was close to them. Soon their substance materialized in front of him and he suddenly actually saw the dead with his mere eyes. Expeditions became way more interesting. BTs started to come to him willingly. He noticed that he couldn’t pass safe areas without summoning them somehow. Even though he didn’t understand it first, he got used to them and even liked their presence. He felt like they tried to speak to him and he was willing to listen. One time he had enough and shushed them away with a wave of his hands. He understood now, he was heir master. But it didn’t end there.

His focus drifted apart, out of the world of the living. He began to sense the dead through the beach and studied them, enjoyed their company. Soon he tried to drag one of them into his world. Higgs was already far away from the man he had been before when he marveled at his first creation. 

His dreams became more intense. In time, he was painfully growing into a higher level of existence. His body fought the changes, it rebelled against the connection to a supernatural dimension. And then all the smaller beaches that evolved from there demanded his attention. Amelie had smiled and said he was like a baby growing teeth.

His „teeth“ didn’t leave him alone. Just like BTs, the beaches spoke to him. The creatures in their oceans purred, argued and ordered him to let them into his world. But he couldn’t release them all at once. Not only he wasn’t strong enough yet, it also wasn’t time, as Amelie told him. Her patience was hard to bear for Higgs, especially because he understood everything now: that she caused the death stranding, that she was meant to bring an end to the world. 

Therefore, he used to visit her on the beach to tell her about his dreams and the frustration they caused. Sometimes she brought him in herself after such a nightmare and soothed him. There was nothing more comforting than her warm hands cupping his cheeks when he was exhausted. Sometimes they held hands and strolled along the beach, another time they just watched the waves roll. Higgs thought that there was no better place to wait for the ending than the beach. It was his home. Sometimes Amelie pulled him into a hug and whispered to him, her lips near his ear.  
She wasn’t just a twenty year old girl in a red dress he had wanted to impress at a party anymore. She was his goddess now and she came to save him from the madness of the living.

Sometimes though he had to let his anger out.


	4. Chapter 4

Higgs figured that rebuilding this world was no use anymore. It was about to die, that was why chiralium kept flooding it. Humanity was never meant to raise again after this, no matter how much they rebelled against their fate. He wished he’d known earlier and didn’t waste so much time on feeding humanity with supplies, helping them to build cities that spread like cancer all over the country. And he wouldn’t have assisted them in building a network to recreate a nationwide society that made people feel at home on the planet again. Now Higgs had to correct his mistakes and to show these sorry people that they weren’t safe at all. He started to reinforce the Homo Demens because their causing havoc served his purpose very well. But that alone wasn’t satisfying. He wanted to blast a crater into society’s new network and Middle Knot City was it’s strongest part. Besides, he would kill two birds with one stone and destroy their strongest symbol of hope for a free world - Fragile.

This plan was mutually exclusive, since Amelie’s gift had come with a price. She had told him that he had to break the contract with Fragile and that he would understand it later. On the beach, without his new abilities, he had regretted a little that he had to let someone like her go. But he had accepted it despite that, because Amelie was his highest priority now. Back in the world of the living, he soon failed to understand why he had felt the slightest qualms about it. Fragile was clearly obsolete now, she wouldn’t serve his new purpose and rather cause problems. He didn’t plan to hide his new powers after all. 

Fragile Express had high standards and so his sensitive cargo was delivered to Middle Knot in top condition and perfectly in time. She did it herself, the good girl. Higgs had stayed in his secret shelter until it happened, because he wanted nobody and nothing to disturb this moment he was waiting for so impatiently. Only this could make the voices of the dead fall quiet for once. He did everything to satisfy them and his own tortured soul. 

Since his powers were limited to the dead, he couldn’t sense living beings. However, he could sense them when they finally died. They screamed in terror and agony at the top of their lungs when they were brutally ripped out of their existence and stranded on the dark sand of their lonely beaches. And then the BTs came breaking through the crumbling border of their dimension, drawn to the ascending threads of chiralium that spread from the corpses. They had a great feast until they wiped themselves and everything around them out in a gigantic explosion that Higgs felt raging through his body when it happened. He then screamed himself, clutched tightly at whatever was within his reach while he burned helplessly until every single piece of chiralium around the former city was neutralized. He had to lie down and recover after that, but even though he was a shaking mess he felt rewarded.

Middle Knot wasn’t his only target. South Knot was meant to be next and the clock was already ticking. Still shaking and with a blurry vision from all his tears, Higgs tracked down the delivery of his precious second package. Fragile was never late and always followed a strict path. He was perplexed and angry when he saw her deviating from the plan. She must’ve found out somehow. She didn’t reach the next destination, instead she took a completely different route. Since Higgs couldn’t sense her he had to relate on the data she gave him. Franticly, he gathered his Homo Demens to catch her. Fortunately she wasn’t smart enough to find the tracker he had attached to her the last time they had met, so he could find her red handed. It was her misfortune that he was so incredibly pissed off. She didn’t know what she had taken from him. Higgs had to show her now who she was messing with, should’ve shown her earlier. She was just another mistake he had to correct.

One of his new accomplishments he felt very proud of was timefall. He had summoned it before, just to watch everything around him rot. It was very satisfying to see a little foreshadowing of what he would do to the world. Fragile instead - he didn’t want her to just rot. He wanted her to desperately fight for her life and break in the process. After that, she would be free to live on as his statement for humanity. She would realize that she accomplished nothing, that the whole country still despised and hunted her, and that the lifework of her father was destroyed because of her own mistakes.

Fragile's predictable morals helped his plan very much. Higgs knew she would choose to take the damage. Watching her run away half naked and wet from the rain compensated him for the loss of his second great voidout.

He didn’t go for another city after this. The BTs were pacified for a while and his statement was sent. He could entertain himself by watching humanity panicking and their delicate delivery system breaking down. No one set their trust in Fragile anymore and smaller services didn’t have access to her big network. Higgs instead was free to do whatever he wanted with his own network that Fragile had generously helped to build up.  
Pleased with himself, he visited Amelie to tell her about his latest efforts. He was sure she would agree too.

„I’ve lost hundreds of beaches today“, she greeted him strictly and with sadness in her voice when he bowed to her. „Higgs, what did you do?“


	5. Chapter 5

„I spread your message as your herald of the last stranding,“ Higgs explained with passion. „We didn’t plan to get this over with in silence, didn’t we? So I gave humanity a sign and shattered their precious symbol of hope.“  
Amelie massaged the bridge of her nose.  
„What did you do?“, she repeated herself. „Precisely?“  
Higgs crossed his arms and bowed his head.  
„I delivered a nuke to Middle Knot City and it went off.“  
Amelie stared at him.  
„You…?“  
„No, wait,“ he held up a finger. „I didn’t deliver it, Fragile did,“ he announced.  
To his frustration, Amelie still looked at him in disbelief. It was the same look he had received from Fragile for wishing for the wrong things and he had hoped to never see it again from Amelie. What did he do wrong? Her message to him had been clear.

„Don’t you understand?“, he went on urgently. „I got rid of Fragile, just as you said. She’ll never dare to come near me gain, I’m her greatest fear. Even better, she’s completely destroyed: her reputation, her company, everything! The whole „world-rebuilding-thing“ has come to a halt - finally. This is what I - what we needed!“ Higgs had walked up and down in front of Amelie, wildly gesturing. His angel only shook her head in silence.

„You should’ve asked me before taking such a fatal step,“ she scolded him. „You’re too impatient, Higgs, and therefore you’ve made a big mistake. All I wanted from you was to terminate the contract and nothing more. I didn’t tell you to kill an entire city!“ Amelie raised her voice and instantly Higgs’ pride was shrinking.  
„But…but…the world is dying anyway, there’s no escape!“, he argued. „That’s what you taught me! Why do you care about the cities? They are doomed!“  
„That doesn’t mean we can take every life piece by piece! My destiny is to take them all at once, and to wait until the time is right! My gift to you was nothing to play with!“  
Her loud voice echoed over the beach and Higgs backed away reflexively. 

Suddenly her anger vanished and she gave him a defeated and disappointed look instead. Finally, she sighted and turned away from him.  
„Maybe it was a mistake to draw a human being into this. You could make sense of your DOOMs, more than anyone else, but you’re still bound to your limited instincts, so you will never fully understand what you’re doing.“ She said the last words with sheer bitterness.  
„No,“ Higgs shouted fiercely. „Don’t turn me down like this! I understand everything! But you can’t give these powers to me and tell me not to use them! What does it matter if I play around a little? I didn’t break anything, didn’t I?“  
Amelie didn’t answer.

„Amelie?“, Higgs insisted, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Before he could put his hand on her though she quickly dodged and turned around. For a second, he saw a single bright red tear rolling down her cheek. Then a sudden wave of energy pulled him off his feet. He yelped as he flew into the air and crashed hard into a rock. Amelie raised her arms, her beautiful features distorted with anger and the ocean went wild. The waves turned red, grew higher and raged loudly against the shore, drawing closer to Higgs. Terrified, he climbed the rock he had crashed on and crouched there, holding up his arms to protect himself from the ice cold water that splashed around him. When he looked back into Amelie’s direction she was gone. Franticly, he yanked his head around to find her until he noticed she was floating above the water that was rising with her.

„Amelie!“, he screamed over the roaring of the waves. „Amelie, stop!“ She didn’t flinch. Higgs was afraid she couldn’t hear him anymore, not even he could hear himself. Searching for a way out, his gaze fell on a giant black pile of something that appeared in the distance. It jumped out of the water, revealing it’s soggy tentacles that spread and showed a gaping mouth underneath.  
„You can’t be fucking serious,“ he muttered unheard and crawled onto a higher rock. His trembling, ice cold fingers barely got a grip on the slippery stones.  
He lost the grip on the rock and slid down, ripping his skin open at the sharp edges. When his kicking feet finally hit solid ground again, the black beast arose in front of him. He had to flee but there was nothing in sight and he couldn’t let go or else the ocean would swallow him. 

„Stop it,“ he cried towards Amelie, „you can’t do this to me! I’m your servant, I do everything for you!“ He received no answer. She had taken everything from him. He wasn’t a god particle anymore, not a worshipped servant of the final extinction, no, he was simply turned back into a vulnerable human being that was fighting for dear life. 

He managed to get to the back of the rock although slowly and with aching muscles, not a moment to soon. A loud smack of tar-covered limbs against stone told him that he had been seconds away from death. The creature had aimed precisely at the spot he stood before. The tar that splashed from the creature on him blurred his vision but he couldn’t just wipe his eyes. His fingers were slipping in the tar and he was sure that this creature would come back and try again. Reflecting about his situation Higgs considered he really might’ve gone too far and he might’ve overstated his role in all this and that he might’ve made a horrible mistake. His connection to the dead was cut, their voices were gone and Higgs caught a glimpse of the man he once had been, before the world went dark. He screamed when the black tentacles embraced him once and for all.

He woke up lying in the sand, his throat was hoarse from screaming and his heart pounded heavily in his chest. He remembered that he was supposed to fight for his life, so he struggled up in panic and looked around. The sea had calmed down and there were no BTs around to swallow their misbehaving master. Amelie stood by the rocks, her body tense and her arms crossed. With his last bits of strength, Higgs crawled into her direction.  
„Amelie,“ he rasped.

When she faced him he let himself fall on the ground and pressed his forehead into the sand.  
„Forgive me,“ his voice was a mere whisper. „Forgive me, Amelie, please…I won’t fail you again.“  
Amelie quietly walked closer, her red heels stopped only a few inches away from her regretful herald.  
She simply answered: „Don’t make me do this again.“

Higgs made an oath, raising his hand in the air while she watched him sternly.  
Then, without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around her while still being on his knees. He clutched at her in silence, startled by his own impudence but unable to let go. When he heard her soft chuckle he finally relaxed. He needed her forgiveness so much. She carefully took his arms and helped him up. He notices that his strength returned to him, so he could stand upright and lean deeply into her hug. This time he dared to touch her soft hair and she didn’t mind. 

„I’m sorry“, he whispered into her ear. He felt her smile, her cheek touching his own for a second. Then she opened the hug to cup his face once more, thumbs running up and down his skin.  
„My Higgs“, she sighted, beaming at him like a proud mother. Higgs felt his cheeks blush under her hands. Then the moment was over. She stepped away from him and invited him to take a walk around the shore. He accepted and walked next to her, enjoying the beauty of the beach.


	6. Chapter 6

When Amelie spoke again, her tone was serious.  
„Do you know what the chiral network is?“, she asked into the blue.  
„Sure“, Higgs said. „It’s the next significant step to bring all the cities together. You want me to…alter it a little?“, he winked at her.  
She didn’t flinch. „This network can connect all the people in the whole world, but since it’s based on chiral matter, it not only connects the living world, but also all beaches together. It will shatter the border from their world to the beaches, which are all connected to mine. You understand what that means?“  
„You..you mean…“, he struggled to follow her and nervously wiped his eyebrow. „It’s helping us?“  
„Yes. the more people it connects, the stronger it becomes. In conclusion, the more knots we connect, the sooner the sixth extinction will happen.“  
„Oh…“, Higgs answered ungracefully.  
„Well, we still have enough left…,“ he went on and Amelie gave him a look that wiped the smirk out of his face.   
„I’m sorry,“ he said. „I really feel stupid now.“  
„Very well,“ she said and stopped her walk to look at him.

„You are ready to take the next step.“  
Higgs immediately got excited. His eyes widened like those of a child at christmas.  
„Since everybody’s hope in this country is shattered now, I have to go to raise their spirits again and to make sure that every knot will be prepared for the chiral network,“ she explained, continuing their stroll.  
„You don’t have to do that yourself,“ Higgs argued, following her. „I can manage!“  
„You?,“ she gave him an amused look and suddenly giggled. „You dare to set one foot into a city again and beg for their trust?“  
„No…not personally“, he laughed, „but I could tell my men to play good little porters and swarm out into every corner of the country. The network will be ready in no time.“  
„That would still not raise their hope, I’m afraid. And without hope, they would rather distrust the new network and go on with their own ways.“ She shook her head. „No, they need Samantha America Strand herself to promote it.“  
„So..what’s my part in this?,“ he asked curiously.

She looked him into the eyes. „I need you to kidnap me as soon as I reach Edge Knot City, so they have to send me a savior who also finishes my work.“  
„Can I be the savior too?,“ he asked abruptly.  
„No, Higgs, you can only play one role at once.“  
„But the savior’s job seems to be much more fun.“  
„It is not. It requires a lot of hard work, patience and package deliveries. I can only be done by one person,“, she said with certainty.  
Higgs very impatiently waited for her to go on while she made a pause to watch the ocean waves.

„Did you ever hear about the legendary porter?“  
Higgs came closer to Amelie and gazed over the ocean with her.  
„I heard of him. He was a big deal back in the day. But he vanished long ago.“  
Her features formed a bitter expression.  
„He is my brother. Sam Porter Bridges.“  
Her sadness shook him, he didn’t expect an entity like her to feel that way about an ordinary person. Legendary porter or not.  
„So you…want to drag your brother into this?“

She looked at him, the sadness didn’t leave her eyes. „This is not about something I want, Higgs. It is what I need to do. He’s the only one who can do it. But he won’t come for anyone except me.“  
It occurred to Higgs that this was not the best way to organize a family reunion. He didn’t have any relatives left, but if he had…Then again, he wasn’t here to judge her ways. And he didn’t have to give two shits about anyone’s brother as long as he served the purpose.  
„Forgive, me, but I still fail to see my part in this plan“, he said cautiously. „Do you…want me to wait for him?“  
Amelie shook her head.

„He will reach Edge Knot City eventually, but you will not wait until that happens. It is just something else I have to do. I see you struggle to hold your instincts back and to find harmony between life and death, so I allow you to vent it from time to time.“  
Higgs got very interested again and he couldn’t keep his eyes away from Amelie anymore. She turned her head and gave him a concerned look.  
„My brother is a repatriate. And a DOOMs sufferer, just like you. He can tolerate a lot of pressure, but be careful nonetheless. Just make sure he sees you as a threat, fears for my life and keeps on.“

„I..understand“, he said, trembling with passion. He slowly sank down on his knees and vowed: „Your brother will be in safe hands.“   
„Be careful, Higgs.“  
„Yes, my mistress.“  
„And Higgs,…“ she began and made him look up to her with a submissive glance.  
„…mind where you place your nukes.“  
„Of course,“ he whispered, bowing deeply his blushing face. „It won’t happen again.“

„I felt it, you know?“, she said in a bemused tone.  
„I had no intentions to hurt you,“ he said with the greatest amount of love he could express with his voice. As a reward, he felt Amelie’s hand stroke along the parting of his hair.  
„The tremble of the border, the thrill of anticipation…“ Her voice turned into a sigh. „It doesn’t hurt.“  
She stroked him silently while he was indulging in every single second of this.  
„I grant you one more,“ she suddenly said.  
He jerked his head back up.  
„Thank you, my mistress,“ he said in surprise.  
„Only one,“ she repeated, smiling.  
„Yes, my mistress.“


	7. Chapter 7

Higgs’ mind was spinning, all the memories of his life danced in his head.  
If only he knew what game Amelie had been playing all the time, he could at least do what had been natural to him for years - to make some sense out of it and assume that it had to be done and that he had played his part well.  
But did he?

He had to admit that he just lost the fight he had playfully called „endgame“. It wasn’t meant to be anything serious, it was just that his desire to end it all had taken over him. He couldn’t kill the repatriate anyway, he could just make his life more miserable. As Amelie said, he had been careful as long as the chiral network had to be built. After it’s completion, the legendary porter was free to play with. So why not taking the chance? There was rarely any fun left in this world anyway. In the end, Amelie had said she wanted to keep Sam here. He was her precious little brother after all, he had the privilege to watch the extinction from a VIP rank. 

There was nothing Higgs did wrong.  
Although he somehow did.

Being abandoned on her beach, with her connection cut and burned, his sixth sense aching like an open wound and all the cold and quiet around him was proof. The voices of the dead kept still, he had no visions left. He was blinded, deaf and numb. And so embarrassed.

What was feeding on his pride the most was that in hindsight, he never had any control about what happened to him. He never fully understood his fate. He grew up as someone’s pawn, raised by some broken asshole who wanted to lock him up in a shelter for his entire life, just to compensate his own damn pain. Higgs had been the last human being that had been left for this idiot to blame for his own failure as long as he lived. And he did exactly that, because thanks to Higgs he didn’t live long.

He had always liked to remember his first walk outside the shelter. How he explored the real world that was full of nightmares, but he was certain to make his own. As if the death of his uncle had given him a sign, as if his existence had any higher meaning. It hurt now to think about it.  
The question was nagging at him. Had there ever been any chance for him? Or was it simply his fate to never accomplish his dreams? If so, it sucked. And if he just failed his purpose, it sucked too. 

What sign did he miss? The death stranding had always been the center of his entire life. He had always believed that his DOOMs had been a blessing to him, a gift he would use to his advantage, to shape the world into something that served him better. 

He would never admit this to anyone but Amelie’s revelation had been a disappointment at first, because it had rendered all his previous work meaningless. Instead, he had wasted his energy on a world that was never meant to be his home, and he would go down with it no matter how far he got away from that bunker. Could’ve stayed inside for all he knew. But instead of grieving about it, he believed that everything made sense, that he was meant to serve Amelie. And that she had been waiting for him all his life to accept his purpose. His whole existence had seemed to lead to the point he would gain control over not only his fate, but whole humanity. It was the ultimate payoff for all his efforts. 

What a fool, what a blind fool. In the end, a woman tricked him. Simple as that. With her beautiful looks, her soft as silk voice, her kind words and warm hands. She betrayed him. He assumed that this was the last feeling he had to learn about before he died. He hadn’t felt betrayed by anyone before. His uncle had never claimed to have any sympathy for him.  
But Amelie…

A sudden sob startled him. It wasn’t loud but in all that silence it still ringed in his ears. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks. No voidout this time. Just his stupid little heart. If Fragile wasn’t already here to gloat over his fucking pain he would have to do that himself. It was his own damn fault that his life was nothing but ruins, that nothing worked out the way he wanted. Or - he just enjoyed to rip himself apart right now - even that was just a sorry attempt to claim that at least his failure had been under his control. He fought down another sob.

The quiet scrunching of sand under someone’s shoes sounded off in this situation. Higgs, who had been drowning in memories was brutally ripped back into plain reality. He saw the slim figure coming closer, her black leather suit that slightly shimmered in the gloom of the beach. His ending. Looking at her figure, that was entirely covered in black cloth it crossed his mind that she could never show her naked skin to anyone again and that she must be very pissed because of it.  
He closed his eyes to block her out and give himself one last moment of peaceful and quiet. Dwelling on his memories wasn’t comforting, but at least it distracted him from his upcoming ending. 

Would he do it all again if he had the chance? Oh, he just couldn’t stop destroying himself, couldn’t he? Thinking of all this made him want to throw up. He didn’t want to fall for someone’s lies again, didn’t want to hear someone’s soft voice and he eminently didn’t want to feel someone’s silky hands on him again. That was for sure. 

Fragile’s black leather boots came to a halt in front of him. Higgs eyed them, not caring about looking up. He wasn’t ready for this yet. He didn’t want to play another game.  
The boots walked around him now with their leather quietly rustling.  
„I hope you didn’t swallow your tongue because I need answers from you,“ Fragile said in that mysterious half-whisper that sat so well on her. It matched just perfectly her reputation as the most powerful DOOMs user he ever met. Ironically, he gulped again.

„I asked you before, but you didn’t give me a definite answer, do you remember?“  
Higgs only gave her a shrug. Soon after, his chin was grabbed by gloved fingers and pulled up, so he couldn’t help but look into her face with a hateful grimace. She held his gaze, as if she would calmly study his features. Even now, Higgs could notice she had that dreamy expression in her eyes, seemingly looking not at him, but through him. As if half of her mind was still wandering about the endless depths of her beach. She always looked like she came from another world.

„Why did you betray me?“, she spat the words on him. Higgs jerked away from her grip as if she burned him and eyed the ground again.  
„I told you“, he hissed.  
Fragile fell silent and for a while there was nothing to hear than the soft swooshing of the waves.  
„Weird. You always loved the sound of your own voice. I guess I broke it.“

Then her black shiny boots walked behind him. When he felt the cold metal of the rifle being pressed against the back of his head he immediately closed his eyes. A shot echoed over the beach, made him jump and rip his eyes back open. He was still alive.

„You…missed,“ he stated while his heart was hammering in his chest.  
„I learned you like choices,“ she whispered and Higgs chuckled hysterically. There was no way he would be granted a real choice after all, this was just another game. It only meant that she didn’t even have the grace to simply end him. 

„You gave me one, so I’ll return the favor,“ Fragile went on and walked towards him again. „You can choose to stay quiet but then the next bullet won’t miss.“  
Higgs eyed the miniature crater in the sand the first bullet had created. Unfortunately this first demonstration didn’t help him to get used to the thought of spilling his brain right here.  
„Or, you start talking and I let you decide your fate yourself.“

She sat down on a rock, her slim fingers stroking the rifle, and waited.  
Higgs sighted. Once again, he had to play along. He had always been bad at waiting games and he wanted this to stop.

„It was all part of a bigger plan,“ he rasped. „I served Amelie Strand. She’s the extinction entity, and no matter what you do, you can’t stop her.“ He looked at Fragile with shammed pity. „I’m sorry to break it to you honey, but your pretty new nation won’t live long.“  
She mused on that for a while before she answered: „Don’t lie to me, Higgs. I don’t believe Amelie told you to soak me head to toe in timefall.“

Her beautiful features didn’t flinch. There was no sign of grief or anger. He suddenly felt the urge to explain himself. But why telling her about all the voices that were begging him to kill? Why telling her that Amelie hadn’t prepared him for this and just expected him to get along with them? And why telling her how good it felt to obey their urging?  
„As you said, I gave you a choice.“  
„The choice to nuke an entire city. Amelie wouldn’t do that.“ Fragile shook her head and frowned at him.  
„You don’t even know her“, he spat back. The feeling to explain himself was gone.  
Fragile crossed her arms. „Sam knows her and I’ve felt their bond through him. She’s not a killer.“

Higgs straightened himself as much as he could. „Sam has no fucking clue who she really his, even though I told him multiple times. You better believe me or you both will be very confused when everything falls to shit - even though I’d love to see that,“ he snarled.  
She turned her head and gazed upon the beach, right into the direction were Sam and probably Amelie walked off. Her blonde hair was waving a little in the breeze. For a short moment, she just looked like she was enjoying the view.  
„She’s with him now, isn’t she?“, she asked matter of factly.

Higgs curled up again, defeated.  
„Just go on,“ he offered, „break me some more. Tell me that my sweet angel of death has left me for an ordinary porter.“  
She promptly stood up and came menacingly close to him.  
„Why don’t you just stop putting on an act and simply admit that it was all your doing? You loved to call yourself a god all the time.“  
Higgs looked up to her in disbelief and began to laugh hysterically. „My doing?“, he uttered while tears ran down his cheeks. „I wish…“ He gasped and sobbed, until the fit was eventually over.

Fragile sighted, looking worn out all of a sudden and wiped her forehead.  
„I guess that’s it,“ she finally said and looked back at Higgs.  
„You talked, so I’ll keep my promise.“  
„I can choose?“, he rasped, mouth suddenly dry. She nodded quietly. Higgs saw she was about to stand up and move on the the next step of her game. But he had to stop this. He didn’t believe in promises anymore and he didn’t want to know what she was planning to do next. 

„I want a kiss from you.“  
Fragile stopped in her tracks, eyes open but gazing at nothing.  
„This is not an option,“ she stated.  
Higgs sought her gaze now.  
„You promised“, he said, his voice still rough.  
Fragile stared at him in bewilderment once again. Finally, she shook her head and cupped her face with her palms.  
„Why?“, she whispered. „Why now? We had so much time to…you never…and now?“ She helplessly ran a hand through her hair. Then she suddenly jumped at him. 

„Why do you never play by the rules?“, she yelled.  
„I’m not playing anymore,“ he cried back. „I’m sick of playing games! Shoot me or not, I don’t care! Forgive me that I hoped you could be serious for once and keep your promise!“  
„Did you give me a real choice? Did you let me put my clothes back on and walk away and make you defuse the bomb? No, all I could do was suffer! Forgive me that I thought you gonna be a man for once and endure your punishment in dignity!“

„That..that wasn’t me!“ Higgs voice now trembled. „Amelie made me do this! I wasn’t the man anymore who joined you to make the nation whole again! We shared a dream, Fragile, and now that Amelie is gone I can’t help but remember that!“  
Fragile turned away from him and ran towards the ocean, just to gain some distance between her and this - abomination. The quiet rushing of the waves helped her to calm down while she looked at the horizon. No clouds on this sky. No monsters ahead. She was free now, she could do whatever she pleased.

„I don’t want to remember you. I don’t want to know anything about you anymore,“ she said loud enough for him to hear, even though she didn’t scream anymore. „I’m glad you’ll rot on this beach,“ she decided, and the waves seemed to agree.

‚Well‘, Higgs thought to himself,‘it didn’t hurt to ask, didn’t it?’ He chuckled and stared at Fragile’s black shape, standing at the beach like a beacon, until his gaze was too blurred to see anything. Fuck it. It did.  
He bowed his head and let the tears flow. He had no reason to hold them back anymore. The beach won’t mind. Sobs quaked his whole body and he didn’t care about being quiet either.

Fragile came back to fetch her umbrella, then she heard the noise. When she looked at Higgs she wished she had ignored him. But now she couldn’t just jump away. She had made a promise, after all, even though she didn’t mean it like that and even though it made her hate him even more that he had to do this to her. That he had to cruelly drag out the part in her that wished she could meet the the man he was before again. The one who didn’t go nuts. And tell him something. But now she had to grant this to the monster he became.

Digging in her bag she had brought with her, she comforted herself with the thought that this would be the last sacrifice she had to make before her new free life began. And pulling out her tissues, she assured herself that she would at least do it the way she wanted.

Higgs didn’t notice her coming back, but he felt a piece of cloth touching his face and jerked his head away.  
„What the fuck?“  
„Language, Higgs,“ a soft whisper said.  
„Fragile? What are you…?“, he stuttered and was silenced by a tissue that was wiped over his mouth.  
„Stay still,“ she ordered. „You have tar all over your face and it tastes awful.“  
He stared at her. She just kept on wiping his cheeks.

„Also, I won’t kiss you while you’re sobbing.“  
Higgs struggled to stay completely still and endured the procedure. Slowly, his brain was processing what that meant.  
„You know, some of this might be already dry,“ he said dryly.  
„I figured“, she stated, pulling out another tissue. The other one was already soaked in blackness.„Guess you may cry some more.“

Higgs blinked to clear his view. The last remaining tears fell, and Fragile was still there.  
„You know, this is not how I imagined our first kiss.“  
„Shut up. I’m not gonna kiss a tar pit.“  
Fragile kept on without mercy and Higgs felt himself blush to his embarrassment. He had to turn his head, so she could reach all spots she wanted and he asked himself why she needed to clean his entire face just for a single kiss.

„What are you gonna do? Eat my entire face?,“ he blurted out.  
„You wish,“ she simply said.  
It didn’t even feel good. When Amelie had touched him, he had felt her warmth on his skin, and she had been careful not to hurt him. Fragile instead was just turning his last wish into a joke. He jerked his head away again.  
„I said hold still,“ she said in an annoyed tone.  
Higgs sobbed again.  
„Stop it,“ he whispered, bowing his head. „Stop.“  
Fragile stopped and eyed him.  
„It’s good enough I guess,“ she stated and put the tissue down.

Then she touched his chin again and turned his head back to face him. He was still a pitiful look, with dried black tar all over him. She could barely see his features right. His eyes were most expressive, staring at her with a mixture of pain, shame and mistrust. Back then, she used to spot something else in his eyes that made her heart jump. She tried to imagine him looking at her like this now, she even closed her eyes to do it. But she failed of course. Plain reality was right in front of her after all. So she just took a deep breath, leaned forward and softly pressed her lips on the man’s skin. Just like she expected, it tasted like tar. It wasn’t like she imagined their first kiss to be either. Now she couldn’t even dream about it anymore without having that taste in her mouth. 

When she was done, she quickly stood up and turned away.  
„That was it?“, Higgs shouted.  
Fragile snorted and opened her umbrella, eager to get away from this place.  
„What did you expect?“  
With all the strength she had left she turned around to look into his eyes once more.  
What she could see though the tar looked at least a little bit broken, so it may have been worth it.

Higgs was out of words. He stared at the figure he would see for the last time in his life, no matter if it lasted an eternity or ended right now. No matter what he did to her, she still looked like the woman he had met years ago, still beautiful and proud, and umbrella gracefully shielding her head as if she needed protection.

He had expected just…something more than a peck. It had been cheeky to ask but he had pronounced the question before his brain could stop him. He had searched for something that mattered to him, something he would want to accomplish before the end. He had hoped that he could take his fate into his own hands for once. But he had only made a fool out of himself. Her kiss had been nothing but malice. He knew if he decided to life this memory would haunt him forever. How their cheeks touched just for a second, how he could smell her scent just for that short moment and how he felt her lips on his skin. And finally her proud figure standing above him and staring him down with cold eyes.

He just kept staring back, fearing the moment she would disappear forever.  
Finally, she looked up as if she watched a bird somewhere in the skies, and again she looked just like she was going for a stroll on the beach. She closed her eyes and knitted her brows, preparing herself for the jump. After a while she opened her eyes again and gasped, her features formed a terrified expression. Then she vanished quietly, only leaving a little breeze that made some sand grains roll away.


	8. Chapter 8

Higgs stared at the spot she had just disappeared, looked at her footprints in the sand that were the only proof that she had been here with him. It was the last sign of another human being he could now marvel at for all eternity. She had left the rifle on the ground right next to were she had placed her bag, which imprint was still there too.

He felt empty now. He was even out of tears. Now, everything was said and done - or rather not done, and everything his future had in left store for him was either an endless life in solitude, with nothing but his disappointment as company, or well, death. What if he just got it over with?

His mind was torturing him already with feelings he had buried deeply into him, ever since he fell for Amelie’s kind promises. So far, they were all painful and he was afraid of what would come next. And what he would turn into if he stayed on the beach forever. He already was about to go insane. He still smelt Fragile’s scent and he feared the moment he would start to dream about her.

He had never considered suicide as a solution to his problems, because it seemed like giving up even before it was too late. He’d rather die as a god, taking the whole world with him. But now? His last try to change his fate had failed. He didn’t want to remember this forever and he didn’t want to remember anything else. Maybe he should…the gun was still there.

But how was he supposed to reach it? He pulled at the cuffs again, and now they sprang open just like that. Fragile must’ve done this, he thought while staring at his shaking free hands in surprise. 

If only he had noticed it earlier, he could’ve done something too. Even though he didn’t know what. Trying to kill her? He didn’t want her dead. Forcing her to take him with her? Fat chance, he would have been on her mercy and she would’ve tricked him anyway. He had lost her sympathy long ago.  
But his inner arguing didn’t help him agains the voice in his head that called him an idiot once more.

He struggled up, ignoring his protesting body and slowly reached the rifle. He carefully picked it up like a precious artifact from the past. In a way, it was. The longer he stayed on the beach, the more unbelievable his memories became for him. Did he really do all this? He had to end it before he would believe it was all a fever dream.

However, he walked over to Fragile’s footprints first and inspected them, carefully keeping his distance, so he wouldn’t ruin them. If he wanted, he could use all the time in the world to mourn her loss. The ocean in the background was peacefully splashing as if nothing had happened. Looking back at the gun, the sight made him smile faintly. What a way to end. But beggars can’t be choosers, right?

He tried to calm down his breath when he pressed the gun at his throat. The sight of the ocean had something comforting about it while he stood and waited, with the finger on the trigger, for the moment he would gather all his courage and end himself. He considered closing his eyes, but then he would have nothing to distract him from the fact that he had his finger on the trigger. He had to do this without thinking, randomly. Despite his efforts, his heavy breathing made him dizzy, he couldn’t stop shaking and cold sweat ran down his spine. He told himself that he could stay like this and wait for the right moment. The beach was patient. 

But Higgs not so much. He began to feel ridiculous, the rifle became heavy in his hands and his throat started to hurt. Defeated, he let the weapon sink and instead leaned heavily on a rock, with his trembling fingers curling around the cold stone. Just now, his body woke up from a shock and realized that he had been seconds away from death, so it punished him with uprising panic and the feeling to suffocate. He curled up at the rock and gasped for air. The ocean was still watching.   
When the fit was over Higgs was glad that no one watched him.   
Well, at least he tried.

When he had enough strength to pull himself up he heard the waves call. He sighted. Of course. Idiot again. The ocean had been waiting for him all the time. He knew that when souls left their beach for good, they went into the water. It was unknown what really waited inside it’s depths but it kept calling them and in time, it won them over.

Intrigued and terrified at once, Higgs made a few steps towards it. Like a warning, he felt the next surge of panic boiling in his chest. He didn’t have to rush it though, he comforted himself, he could take his time to acclimate. The water came dangerously close, with its wet hands crawling over the sand, reaching out for him. Higgs came to a halt when his boots were still untouched. He clung his arms around his chest and bit his lower lip. 

When he stood there frozen and shaking, he scolded himself a coward. He should try at least one more step. If he died, he would only accomplish what he wanted, right? So in the heat of the moment he stepped forward and let the water softly splash around him. It wasn’t so bad, he told his hysterical brain and pushed himself further, until both of his feet were covered in water. He tried to blend out the fact that he was going right towards his death and instead concentrated on the voice of the ocean that allured him to come closer. 

However, when some audacious wave hit his chest, he felt all air leave his lungs. He gasped desperately, but something now corded up his throat. The tremble of his legs became worse, he figured they couldn’t hold him up much longer and the thought of falling and being swallowed by the ocean was simply terrifying. So he stumbled backwards but fell anyway, letting out an unheard scream. As soon as his fingers hit the wet sand they curled into it and he started to drag himself away from the gaping mouth of the afterlife. Bright yellow spots were already dancing before his eyes as he crawled out. He had reached dry land when he finally collapsed and everything around him went black.

It was a normal day, well as normal as it could be with the usual death traps all around. Higgs was delivering some very precious cargo in person because still enjoyed being a porter from time to time. With Fragile by his side, it was much easier to avoid BTs that gathered in the large wasteland of the fallen country.

Fragile just stopped in her tracks and gazed upon the land with a worried expression.  
„We have to take another route“, she announced. „I can feel this area is crowded with BTs.“   
Once again, her DOOMs sense but Higgs’ in shame. He also didn’t refresh his sixth sense for a while now, something just kept interrupting his usual routine. He was busy after all. But now he relied on Fragile to bring them safely to their destination, so he didn’t question her and followed her closely when she started scurrying through the high grass. When he scanned his surroundings he saw they were approaching a wide river basin. Fragile waited for Higgs at the shoreline, looking up and down the area.

„It’s too deep here,“ Higgs said, looking at his scanner.  
Fragile eyed the river and shook her head. „We can’t go any further south, the BTs would get us.“  
„Let’s try the other direction then,“ he answered shrugging and turned around to walk along the river. She followed him and stopped him by touching his shoulder.  
„I’ve know this area,“ she said, „the shallow part is two miles from here. We can’t afford that.“  
„But if we fail here we lose cargo - and people out there waited ages for their supplies,“ Higgs argued. They were about to provide shelters that had been isolated from the Knots for years because of all the BTs swarming around it. Higgs didn’t even walk through this area alone. Both him and Fragile just currently heard about these people.  
„I know, but I’ve crossed this path before, it’s not that deep and the water’s clear, it can be done.“ 

Higgs shook his head. „No, too risky. I rather be save than sorry later.“ And so he was about to walk off, just like that. Fragile instantly blocked the way by jumping right in front of him and held up a finger.  
„What’s rule number one for porters?“, she asked urgently.  
Higgs backed away, holding up his arms. „I don’t know, I never attended porter university, I’m a self-taught!“, he protested wryly.  
„Never waste time, especially not when a good path is already right in front of you.“  
„You just made that up.“  
Fragile sighted.  
„I’ll go first. You’ll see its alright.“  
„If you lose anything I won’t save you,“ Higgs said dryly.  
„Thanks, partner.“

Sometimes Fragile just didn’t understand Higgs. He always seemed to hide something, not only his face. Usually that was fine with her, everyone had their secrets after all. However, when they worked together as partners she wished he would cooperate better, for the sake of their business. Just like right now. She was glad that he needed her to lead the way, as she was wading through the river and Higgs stood at the shore and watched her go. She set one foot carefully after the other, recalling the last time she had been here and found a save path. Finally, she came out of the water and proudly turned around with her arms wide open.  
„Tadaa,“ she exclaimed.  
Higgs’ mask didn’t react. It bothered her that she never saw what he was thinking. It was like talking to a wall sometimes.  
„Now you,“ she yelled over the river. „Come on, we’re losing time here!“

Higgs instead had to recap what got him into this situation, how even years of experience as a porter didn’t prevent this from happening. It was probably bad luck combined with his own stubbornness. He had been sure their route was save, he had believed the BTs’ wanderings had a pattern and according to it, they would be somewhere else now. But there could be new swarms. Homo Demens kept creating them after all. Normally they didn’t go that far into these wastelands but setting his hope on them was probably not the best idea he ever had. And so he stood by a river bank with Fragile waiting for him at the other side. He had no choice.

Inhaling deeply, he set one foot into the river. Immediately, he felt the cold of the water through his suit. It was still ok though, he assured himself. Fragile was right. He could see the stream bed and it helped to avoid deep slopes, so he pretended that he was going through shallow calm water and set the other foot forward. So far so good. The current around his legs pulled at him a little. The bright reflexions of the sunlight in the water surface made him dizzy and he stumbled sideways for a second before he caught himself again. When he walked further he sank deeper into the river. It was much deeper than he had hoped for and he had the feeling that his lungs cramped. There was no way he could pretend to be in shallow water anymore. After a few more steps he sank up to his hips in it and that wasn’t even the deepest part. His brain begged him to turn back and escape but he was already paralyzed and his lungs were empty. He grabbed his throat and gasped helplessly. He forgot about the river and everything around him when he lost his balance and fell into blackness.

Fragile was very annoyed at her partner now. First he argued about that small problem and made them waste time already and now he walked extra slowly through the river just to prove his point. Why did business leaders always have to be so complicated? She eyed Higgs wading though the water and her impatience grew. When she was just about to say something, she learned that she had fatally misread his behavior. She cried out when she saw him being dragged away by the stream with his hands on his throat like he was choking.

Without hesitation she let all the cargo fall and made a quick jump through the beach onto a rock in the river bed. The water was deeper and faster already and it did get worse downstream. Her heart was racing but she had to keep her cool now. When she grabbed Higgs she noticed he was unconscious and very heavy. With aching muscles she pulled him halfway out because the rock wasn’t big enough for both of them. Now she had to get him back on dry land. He needed an antidote quickly. She pressed her forehead against the golden mask, desperately trying to sense a connection. It wasn’t helping that his mind was unconscious. In addition, he was slipping out of her grab and she had to pull him closer.

She gave up on this and took a rather drastic measure to save his life. Taking off Higgs’ mask and the other black one underneath it, she hoped he would forgive her. With closed eyes she pressed her forehead on his exposed skin and finally sensed a bond. He disappeared as the rest of his cargo loudly tumbled down. Fragile let it float away and jumped back on the shore herself, where she found Higgs lying in the grass. He was still unconscious. His exposed face was all pale and his lips blue. Fragile ran to dig in her supplies for an antidote. When her shaking hands grabbed the bottle she begged that it wasn’t too late. 

Higgs came back to his senses when he was lying in the grass, still feeling a bit dizzy. When he rolled to the side to stand up and saw the river again his body went ice cold. If he remembered it right, he had just embarrassed himself in front of Fragile.   
The great porter Higgs, can’t even cross a stream.   
How could you be a good porter, he heard her asking, if you can’t overcome such easy obstacles like these?

„Higgs,“ she said instead and hastily kneeled down besides him. „How do you feel?“   
She sounded rather anxious than mocking.   
He wiped his forehead and said „Like shit.“   
Fragile stared at him with wide eyes.  
„Sorry…“, he mumbled. „Just a headache…“   
„Something else?“, she went on. „Can you breathe?“  
„Yeah, I’m ok,“ he whispered and lifted himself up until he felt Fragile’s hands on his shoulder.  
„Careful now, you’re still exhausted. I’ll fetch you some pills.“ And so she scurried away to dig in her bag.

„We have to hurry,“ he protested and struggled to get up only to find that he was about to lose balance again.   
„Don’t worry, I already called a surrogate team to bring supplies. I reported this incident.“  
Now Higgs really had to sit down.  
„You…you told them?“  
Fragile came back with a tube of pills and he felt like he had to swallow them all at once.  
„We’re partners, Fragile. You should’ve kept this as a secret,“ he said sorely.  
She looked at him with innocent surprise. „What do you mean?“  
„It’s about my reputation,“ he whispered.  
Fragile shook her head.

„No one will blame you for being assaulted. With the business you run you’re now the target of terrorists and MULEs alike. We should both be more careful now, you’ll need security.“  
Fragile knew he won’t like this idea. To admit he only just survived an assault and now had to hide behind security guards. But she saw it as inevitable. Him suffocating was the most terrible thing she ever saw and she wanted nothing but to keep him save. She planned she wouldn’t stop bothering him until he agreed.  
Higgs instead felt like a huge weight was lifted from his chest. Fragile believed it was poison, of course. He praised his phobia symptoms while he took a pill to stop his head from pounding.

When he leaned back and relaxed it occurred to him that something was still off, that he still forgot a detail in this big picture.  
„You’re right,“ he answered just to say something.  
Now she looked at him even more surprised.  
„What?“, he blurted out.  
Fragile shook her head and smiled. „Nothing…I’m just…glad you’re cooperating.“  
„What’s that supposed to mean? Am I usually not cooperating?“  
She giggled helplessly. She was just so glad that he survived and her jangled nerves made her feel silly.  
„I just wanted to say I don’t regret pulling you out of the river,“ she said in a playful manner.

It was like a punch in Higgs’ chest.   
„You saved my life,“ he whispered more to himself than her. When he faced her he saw he had her full attention.  
„I owe you, Fragile“, he said sincerely.  
„You’re welcome,“ she answered quietly, still smiling. „Let’s just say we protect each other, ok? And do me a favor: Next time you feel unwell, don’t ignore it.“   
It was a pity that she didn’t see him smile or frown or anything. When she had looked at his face for the first time, she was surprised by his features. She saw no reason to hide them, no bruises, no scars. She couldn’t help but imagine his expression from now on.  
She offered him a hand.  
„So, we have a deal?“

He accepted.  
When his hand touched hers she suddenly felt a much stronger connection to him than before. It warmed her heart and caused her to hold his hand a bit longer than she should have. She was thankful that he didn’t address it.

Higgs had never felt such a strong bond before and he found that Fragile had put her hand away way too soon. He liked the idea of having her around more often. This time his phobia had caused something good to happen for once.

The second time he woke up felt much worse. His chest hurt, the severed bond was bleeding pain and his head pounded again. He lied in the sand and heard the soft white noise of the endless ocean behind him. Sitting up and looking at the water he assumed it was happening: He was going insane. More dreams would follow until he forgot what was real and what was fake. Reality already looked much less believable now.

He could return to the rifle and try again. He really could. Anyway he still didn’t feel like it.   
He helplessly stared at the ocean for a while.

It soothed him a bit, until the water bubbled up as if something was boiling underneath the surface. It also went black.  
„No, no, no…“, he whimpered and crawled backwards.  
Why couldn’t she leave him alone?  
He imagined it already. Black tentacles rising up from the sea, landing with a loud smack in the sand and tar splashing everywhere. And then the BT attacked, mouth wide open to swallow him once and for all.

The figure that actually rose from the water looked rather human. It wasn’t any less scary though. The tall man slowly approached the shore, a single black tear was running down his cheek. His sharp features were stone cold when he looked down at Higgs.


End file.
